Alone and not lonely

On a whim, I logged in here today. After many many days and months I’ve felt like making a note.

It’s funny, I think. I’ve had one of the most amazing years of my adult life these past months, I’d say – with lots happening within a short span – events, occasions, celebrations, outings and trips – for pleasure and work, changes at work, new situations and challenges…but none of them have prompted me to put down my feelings and thoughts here. Maybe I was too busy uploading my happiness in the form of pictures and sharing them with the world on social media and such!!

It’s when I don’t wanna share my feelings with anybody, and when I think that maybe just nobody is meant to understand, maybe that nobody is capable of empathising with my thoughts…that I turn to this space.

I’ve felt low today – the kind I haven’t felt in a long time, I’d say. As I said, I’ve been too busy celebrating the moments – that’s how it’s meant to be, is it not?! I’ve felt a kind of despair, a hopelessness and helplessness at the situation that faced me. And at that moment in time, I felt alone. Not lonely, but alone. Like, maybe there are some moments one has to face alone – there’s no other being capable of understanding what you feel – no friend or family or lover or partner or whoever.

Funnily enough, that thought is helping me find some peace – and soothe my fluttering heart. I did get through the low moment – I felt better in some time, can’t put my finger on what made me perk up exactly, but it happened. And that gives me renewed hope – that maybe, being alone and facing one’s lows oneself is not so bad after all!