The many posts that could’ve been…

On dull work-days when I’m done browsing through all my favourite blog links and am in no mood to get back to work is when I click on my own blog-link to read snippets of posts from the past. Today being one such day, I noticed that my last post was way back in June 2016! That was six months ago! I don’t remember if there have been such long-drawn periods of non-blogging before… I’m not checking either.

I also noticed a tiny orange dot in the notifications of WordPress when I logged in to finally write a post – when I clicked on it, it said

Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!

You registered on WordPress.com 10 years ago.

Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.

 

Wow! 10 years?! that’s a long time I thought but then realised that I’ve actually been writing a blog for longer than that. Of course, I was on blogspot when I began blogging, before I moved to WordPress! I had difficulty remembering my blogspot address – a couple of tries later I did get it right – anu-bhava.blogspot.com. Of course it doesn’t exist now and redirects readers to this space.

I found the above in the drafts of my blog posts – written in Jan 2017 which was four months ago! I found another post about the Kannada movies from last year…which too was half-written. 

Today when I opened my page, for lack of reading material on the other blogs that I follow, I was shocked by the date on the last post – it was in June last year, which effectively means I’ve not written any post for almost the whole of last year! 

It’s not that I haven’t felt like writing – I’ve been inspired many times by looking at other posts – especially when I see that people take up the blog-a-month challenge and the A-Z challenge etc. But the inspiration hasn’t transformed into words in this space 😦

I feel like I’ve let myself down – I haven’t been able to note down the memories that I’d like to preserve and get back here to re-live them later… my son’s growing up and fast, I’m not jotting down what he says and does – how can I remember them later? The posts from his baby and toddler days thrill me when I go back and read them.

I tried my hand at making terracotta jewellery by attending a workshop and made a few sets too with gusto – I don’t have any record of the experience and the sense-of-fulfilment I felt to be making something with my hands after a long time!

I tried to revive my reading habit – read quite a few books at a stretch – the famous Shiva trilogy (I know I came late to the party!) and first book of his Ram-Chandra series, revisited the Harry Potter books and movies enthused by fellow fans at office, read some of the many books I’d picked up at the book fair two years ago… I didn’t get around to talking about any of those here.

I’ve tried to pick up knitting and crochet projects – starting with some baby items for friends who’ve had their second ‘uns…

We went on many interesting short and long trips last year – the key ones being the Singapore/ Malaysia trip last summer with the hubby’s friends’ families and the Sharavathi and surroundings trip with my friends’ families in the Christmas hols. The latter one was truly an experience in itself – we did so many unconventional activities – very unlike the typical trips we take – and it was the first one when I practised by photography skills armed with the new DSLR. I’m foolishly proud of some of those moments that I managed to capture with the lens.

The camera is another new experience that I’m loving – found some good use for it at two family weddings last year – of cousins on either sides of the family. I loved capturing the candidness of it all – the gaiety, the incredibly rich colours of the wedding scenes – the sarees, the flowers, the accessories and the paraphernalia. The sister and I also planned  an inspired photo-shoot at Cubbon park – the beautiful green lung-space that is the heart of Bangalore…

There was so much that I could’ve written about but didn’t…

Sleeping beauty!

I have been feeling incurably sleepy this afternoon… so much so that I can’t focus on my computer screen and feel like just laying my head down and snoozing on the desk. I was aghast and literally had to fight the sleep demons away!

I began to wonder – when was the last time I’d felt so drop-dead sleepy? I didn’t have to think back too much – it was just the past weekend – having gotten up at the ungodly hour of 3 AM to be ready for a family function, I and the hubby were nodding off to dream-land the rest of that day. I felt so sleep-deprived that once we got onto the return bus I didn’t even have to wait for the bus to start – I was already asleep!

Thinking back some more, there are a few instances that stand out in memory – when the sleep-gods have overwhelmed my resolve and put me in some awkward/ funny situations.

At work – there have been quite a few afternoons when I’ve gone down the slumber road, but the one that I remember particularly was a couple of years ago – when I had to attend a session taken by a colleague. Arranged for a small group, it was more like a one-to-one session and I was so damn sleepy that I was literally dozing in her face! It was a totally new, boring topic and the level of details that she was getting into simply didn’t help matters. It was an elephantine effort to keep myself awake and even now I shudder to think of what impression she might’ve gotten about me!

At school/ college – thankfully there are no such fiascos I can remember from my study-days, except of course the boring Physics lectures in pre-university – where a bunch of us would keep ourselves occupied and awake, by a stream of furious scribbling of notes. Needless to say, many such pages were indecipherable when viewed with regained senses.

On the roads – my hubby will vouch for me being a boring co-passenger – especially in the car. Though not always and not for short-distance drives; most often than not, I doze off on long journeys or when I’m very tired while returning from a family-do or function.

But my favourite memory of a nap on the roads is from the days when I would commute by bus to office. There used to be just one bus which would ply from my place-of-stay and put me down right at the door-steps of my office. Every morning I would huff and puff and strive to get on to this bus; once in, I would settle into my favourite window seat for a long journey lasting for an hour-and-a-half. The first thirty minutes I’d be alert and bright-eyed, looking out of the window and noticing my fellow passengers; but after a point I would inevitably relax into a light sleep. I say light because miraculously just as the bus would take the turn to come to my stop, I would wake-up and get ready to alight. It would unfailingly be so – except one day when I had nearly missed my stop – luckily an acquaintance and a fellow-office-mate whom I’d befriended on the bus gently nudged me awake 🙂

At home – my sleep memories from home are invariably of the tension-filled exam days. I was more of a night-study person, spending the mornings doing odds & ends, by evening I would be so guilt-ridden that I’d done so less of the chapters; I would stay up late to compensate! The study-hols would rush by spent in this fashion and the day of the exam would dawn, I’d rise early in the morning and do some last minute cramming – which would be punctuated by short power naps. You see, I’d be so drained and tense by then that I would tell my mom – ‘I’m very sleepy and will lie down – however, you have to wake me up in exactly 10 minutes! Don’t let me sleep even a minute beyond that!’ My dear worried mom would wake me amidst gentle admonishing 😀

But the memory that is the crowning glory of all my sleep-misadventures is from my childhood. When I was a little girl and would come home to an empty nest with both my parents at work, I would be so tired after a hard day at school that I’d lock myself in and just crash into the nearest sofa – sometimes without even taking off my shoes and uniform! The fun-part was – I wouldn’t wake even when my dad/ mom returned from work and rang the bell so many times as to bring the house down. I would be lost in my own dream-land oblivious to this entire din – sometimes my beleaguered parents had to resort to slipping a stick through the window grills and poking me in the ribs with it to bring me to senses! But of course, after waking, I would vehemently deny and refuse to accept the fact that they had been trying to wake me for the past half-hour!! Sweet are the joys and memories of childhood! 🙂

How about you – any funny sleep-stories to share?

A post about nothing in particular

I want to write… I can feel it in my bones… the strong urge to put down something in black against a white background… strangely the vision of those black characters and then seeing it appear on my blog seems so alluring. But… what is it that I am trying to pin down, I do not know. Is it something that’s happening around me? I stop to wait and listen …

I can hear sounds of keyboard strikes… a Mallu colleague talking loudly on the phone… actually make that several Mallu colleagues talking at various decibels! 🙂 …some distant muted voices of other people talking in the far-away cubicles… the clink of empty coffee cups being collected by the pantry guy… umm…none show promises of turning into likely blog posts… I check with the hubby… he gives some suggestions… not appealing, I don’t know what to write about it – I say petulantly.

I set the wheels of my mind into motion… reflect back to previous days… did I have any interesting conversations with anyone? Hmm… that animated talk I had with the lunch cronies – about Government lady employees now being permitted to take leave up-to 2 years after having a baby, might classify as interesting… but that was too long ago to now recollect and recount the points of contention that we so emphatically tossed about.

Then? What does classify as interesting while being easy to write about? How about the hubby? I could write about how he has been such a dear and the pillar of strength in the past few difficult weeks I’ve had… but then where do I begin? How about writing about the difficulties themselves… considering that I’ve been boring the readers with just rants and some veiled hints? But that would mean I’d be dwelling on it and wallowing in self-pity again, which I don’t want to… I’m trying to look at the brighter side, remember?

There’s the darling sis I could write pages about… and the wonderful hand-painted salwar-suit material that she painstakingly made just for my birthday… but there in lies the problem too… an account about her and our sibling stories could go on and on… considering that I’ve never even made a mention of it anywhere in the three years of my blogging life! No, that was going to be a special post and one that would be written in the free-flowing spirit of spontaneity… one not planned and penned to fill the pages.

How about a look at what I wrote last year… maybe I can re-hash something about “this day, that year”… let’s see what we have… it’s a post about India’s triumph at the T-20 world cup written around the same time last year in Singapore… well, there’s nothing much I can re-hash about that – with the country’s cricket team’s recent showing and the interest (or the lack-of it) that it has generated.

So then, where does it leave me, that little mental exercise? Oh well, looks like I have a decent looking few paragraphs that can be possibly passed off as a post! Guess that should do till the writing-bug hits me again the next time! What say?! 😉

Random rambling

What do you do when you suddenly feel like smiling brightly at a colleague on your way to the pantry, to brighten up a vague Tuesday afternoon and all you get in return is a quirky wiggle of the eye-brows? I’ll tell you… you look down and walk like nothing happened.

Meanwhile, I had an interesting chat with a friend today. He was talking about how these ‘so-called good looking’ people are the ones who are most insecure about their looks… I pondered over it for a while before saying a yes. It definitely was very logical. I suppose that’s the way it is because they obviously stand to lose the most and that’s what brings in insecurity. Generalizing further, I think this is true for most other reasons too, not just looks/ beauty… it is when we have something, that we fear losing it; one is happiest when there’s nothing to lose. ***********************************************************
Though the afternoon is vague, there is a sense of unrest in the air… I can feel it, especially after the early precautionary pack-up yesterday, it’s like we’re waiting for something to happen. I hope to God nothing does.
I think it’s high time we realised that these kind of violent protests and riots serve no purpose but to cause us discomfort. Just the thought of the loss of property and lives, the pain, fright and unease it brings is benumbing. Hope sense prevails.

8th Feb, this Thursday, a bandh has been called for… the thought of having to work on a Saturday to compensate, which we know is a sure thing, is so depressing. But then other thoughts occupy the mind… there’s a relative’s wedding slated for 8th and 9th. With one of the pre-wedding ceremonies already postponed to Thursday due to other reasons, I just hope things work out fine and the wedding happens as scheduled without any glitches. When compared to worries like this, the inconvenience of working on a Saturday seems trivial.
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Rambling seems like such an easy pastime, but the effort it requires needs to be felt, to be known. While the thoughts run amok in the head, the fingers just refuse to find the right keys! 😀

Sleepy scribbling

I’m sooo sleepy that I’m literally dozing in front of my comp… hence the post.
I thought lemme try putting down words in a doc file and check if I type non-sensical stuff… looks like I don’t.

What inspired this little experiment was a memory from college. On hot sultry afternoons after a sumptuous lunch when we would sit to listen to the drone of our Physics lecturer’s voice… we would automatically, thoughtlessly, be lulled into delightfully seductive, comforting sleep. At such times, our only hope of staying awake would be to valiantly try and jot down notes – which would mean trying to scribble down every single word that she would say, mechanically, without pausing to think, which we hoped, in effect would keep sleep away, courtesy: our hands, eyes and ears being busy.
Unfortunately it doesn’t work that way… the slumber-power is such that it just engulfs you in its folds. The result? – weblings and wingdings in your notes… it’s really funny, looking at the notes you’ve written in a semi-dazed-bleary-eyed-sleepy-state, at a later time when you are in a not-so-dazed-bleary-eyed-sleepy-state. You incredulously wonder, did I actually write all this stuff?? Why! It looks like someone dipped some ants in ink and let them loose on this page!! How on earth did I manage that!

Well, that’s what I wanted to try with my comp and this blog post… but apparently the powers that were held by my Physics lecturer’s words are in no way matched by the combined effects of early morning awakenings and heavy lunches! 😀

Weekend woes

Am in office on a Sunday 😦 gotta work since there’s a release next week.
I got my lunch box as usual. Team mates made fun saying “Anu can’t eat outside even on one day!“. “I’m doing it in the interest of the project – if I eat outside and fall sick, then I’ll have to take leave, which means more work for you guys!!“, I retorted 😀

Went upstairs to the cafeteria to have lunch, all of my team-mates went their way, a few to their homes, a few to the darshinis nearby. I didn’t have anyone for company; went with my Agatha Christie. The café was absolutely deserted, with all the chairs piled up on the tables; had a peaceful lunch engrossed in the book, with the whistling winds and the empty café as lunch partners.

There’s wall-painting work going on in our floor… guess they do it in batches on the weekends… didn’t know that. Though initially I liked the smell of paint (which I generally like), now it’s rather over-powering and causing a headache. Speaking of smells – there’re some weird odours that I like – the smell of petrol, phenyl, fresh paint, turpentine, fresh mehendi, the way my hair smells after washing it with methi-paste, the smell of camphor, and of course others like that of wet mud after the first drops of rain – which are a universal favourite I suppose!

Have been listening to some of my favourite Kannada bhaava-geetes on Udbhava.com, which I guess is blocked on the regular work-days here in office and I unfortunately don’t have their mp3s on my comp 😦

…elliyu nilladiru…maneyanendu kaTTadiru…
koneyanendu muTTadiru…O anantavaagiru…

This has been the only silver lining in the otherwise dark clouds that have engulfed my weekend!

QnA

A friend of mine, here in office, complains that I ask too many questions and it irritates him no end.
Hmm… that set me thinking. I decided to consciously try and avoid asking questions. It was nearly impossible!
Aren’t most of our conversations made up of questions and answers tossed back and forth, in one form or the other? How does one communicate interactively, armed with just a set of bland statements? I think q&a’s are essential to make a conversation juicy 😀

If u observe, there’re 2 questions in the 7 odd lines above :p
But, what the heck! no regrets! 🙂