Mishaps galore!

When things hafta go wrong, they always do. It’s like the cycles in a cycle-stand, one of them gets tipped over and voila! all of them fall in a cascade. Life’s like that, isn’t it? On certain days, one small thing goes wrong and then, nothing’ll go your way after that.

One has an appointment with the doctor. One plans to wrap up and leave early. Just when there’s half an hour left for the stipulated ta-ta hour, one gets pulled into something one cannot get out of… then it’s no longer ‘early’ when one leaves to go to the bus stop. One waits and waits for a bus that never chooses to come… 10-15 mins later one gets into a bus, but soon realizes that the driver for some reason imagines he’s riding a new-age motorbike and wants to compete and overtake every single bi-cycle-rider on the roads! One manages to reach the central bus station in one-piece; just as one alights from the zip-zap-bus-turned-mobike, one sees the connecting bus pull out of the station.

Damn! One waits in the station amidst zillion looks at the watch, which doesn’t prevent it from ticking. 20 mins left for the appointment! One wonders, should one ditch the doctor? Though an appealing idea, one argues that one has called ahead and asked the doctor to wait for a few extra mins beyond the regular hours and hence one cannot dump him so. Then on an impulse, one decides to take another bus in a parallel route, get to a nearby bus-stop and take a rick to the clinic. Happy with the idea, one scrambles into the nearest parallel-route bus; 5 mins into the journey, one realizes that it’s destined to be a day of contradictions! The bus driver looks to be a firm believer that the kuchcha roads need bullock carts and not four-wheeled thingies to be driven over them!!

One reaches the bus-stop at 7 mins to 8 o’ clock… then one is pulled into the rigmarole of trying to get a Bangalore auto driver to get to go to some place which obviously doesn’t figure in his scheme of things… 2 mins and 4 auto drivers later one finds a 3-wheeled monster which’ll get one to the destination. One is jubilant; one believes one can still make it on time! tcha tcha…little does one know!! One hurriedly pays the kind auto driver and rushes into the clinic as the clock strikes 8, only to be told… “Dr.Mukesh eega taane horaTu hOdaru…” 😮


10 thoughts on “Mishaps galore!

  1. I know this is not the right time to start ride/drive in Bangalore. But still, always wondered how you manage the time instead of having a 2/4-wheel of your own??

  2. 4.00 pm: Danu has an appointment with Dr. Quackesh at 5.40 pm. She checks the watch and closes the ‘cinema puravani’ of Kannadaprabha. She already has read that Jessica Simpson broke up with Nick. She has lots of time. She closes the remote connection to the server. She is fed up with null pointer error in her C code. She hopes to continue the work tomorrow. At the same time, Samrata drops in and they gossip about the new project team and about Vindhya. Vindhya suddenly walks past the cubicle and they stop talking in whispers. Vindhya drops in the cubicle too and they make fun of the male co-workers Jedu Voshi, Joshwin, Jameer, Jagalgant.

    A girls’ evening in a cubicle.

    4.20 pm: Anu suddenly remembers she has an appointment and she shoos away both her gal-friends. She prepares to leave but her team lead, Braun sends an email with the subject line “FINISH THIS WORK ASAP”. Danu is caught in 2 minds, she can get late for the appointment and she does not want to miss that performance appraisal too. She prefers to work and voila, she finds the bug in the code in 20 minutes. She starts humming and sends the reply to Braun. She puts that half eaten apple back in to her “vain-ity” bag and collects her water bottle and logs off and wears the shoes and hurriedly leaves, without even checking that she has properly logggd off. She sees Chaitali and Swarupa in the lift section and has no time for a smile. Chiatali wonders whether she needs to speak in Kannada and she magages to ask “neenu jaldi ghar hortidey?” and Danu replies “haan, appointment hain, jaldi jaana hain”. Chaitali is kaan-phused.

    4.45 pm: Danu is out of the air conditioned comforts of her office and out in blazing Bangalore Sun. She wears her dark glasses and runs to the nearby bus-stand.

    4.50 pm: The bus is in time and Danu boards the bus. 2 stops and 10 mins later, a few school-keeds board the bus. A keed sits next to her and does not understand why the Danu seems so anxious. The keed opens his ootad dabba and starts eating the leftover chapathi and potta-toe palya. The smell suddengly engulfs Danu and it reeks and she stops herself from saying “wyaaaaa”. But she does say wya and not wyaaaaa. All keeds stare at her. The keed next to her closes his ootad dabba and goes away to sit in next seat. “yen hudugro, yeno hala moola tintarey” — Danu says to herself and closes her mouth with a ker-cheif that has CPA written on it.

    5.00 pm: Traffic jam. Road rage. Raging hormones and shoting obsenities. The bus driver shouts at the autorick-saw to move the rick-saw forward. The risck-saw driver gets angry and shouts from his auto “yakla moo-devvi, illen Infosys jaagaaita, nooraru yekrey bhoomi, bekadralli madagakke”. The reply makes everyone go silent. They all sit and curse the traffic.

    The keed finishes his meal.

    5.10 pm: Majestic!! Lots of Tibetians selling sweaters. People of diffent stratae of society and the smell of petrol eveywhere. Fast moving autos. Danu hurriedly boards off the bus, she does not even let the keeds get down first.

    Alas, the connecting bus is missed in seconds. She sees it leaving, with “talidavanu baaliyanu” written behind it.

    5.20 pm: Danu boards a rick-saw from “Rajiv Gandhi” auto stand. The rick-saw is clean and even has the Vasu agarbatti. The driver however, is chatty. He starts asking “neevu software engineerrrrra, madame?”. Danu says “hoon”. Driver says “vo, budi matte. savra savra sambla tingla yenisteera neevu madam. madve agidya, mad-dame?”. Danu laughs and says no. “Vo, bega madve ag budi, nimkinta odiro, nimginta sambla jasti baroranney made ag budi”. And then he proceeds to talk about his wife’s lazy brotha, his kids, his wife, his buying of saree as a gift for his wife, his monthly budget, his relatives in a distant small village and blah blah blah.

    Traffic jam again. But this time it clears soon. Fat bellied white shirt attired pulismen efficiently clear the traffic.

    5.38 pm: Danu gets off at Dr. qUAKESH’S clinic. She sees a thin and sunburnt, spctacled guy kicking start his 1982 bajjaj scooter and drive off. Soon she knows it was Dr. Quackesh himself.

    Danu has a sad face. All that hurry leaves her tired. She walks to the next bus stand and she passes a dosa stand. Holy diggitty!!!!! or Holy Dosa!!! It is the famouse 4 th stage dossa-campppp!! Someone shouts her name and she turns and sees who it was — Jameer!! He calls her in and she is surprised to see him in there and not just him — all her co-workers, Braun, Jagalgant, Jameer, Jedu Voshi, Joshwin, Samrata, Chaitali, Swarupa, Vindhya and all!!!!

    They all are boisterous and order dosas and eat merrily. More dosas keep coming and they keep eating.
    Jagalgant again picks up a fight with “hotlu mani” that he was not served chutney.

    The aroma of the dosas on tava waffles around in air. It gets cool and dark and the evening lights, light up. A distant temple bells sound.

    Danu is no more anxious and tired.

    moral:sweet are the uses of adversity.

  3. [w_u]: Hilarious!!! But as I’ve said scores of times before, why don’t u have a blog of ur own, where u can post all these?? If nothing else, it can be our daily dose of laughter medicine!!

  4. I don’t like the words “if nothing else” and the tone in which they are word-ed —

    “If nothing else, it can be our daily dose of laughter medicine!!”

    There is a spider on the wall and it is very much irritating me.

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