Anupama, this one’s for you…
“Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person because you neither have to weigh your thoughts nor measure your words“
Ever since I got this message on my mobile, it has set the gears of my mental machinery into motion. The more I think of it, the more sense it seems to make (or should I say,the more it seems to make sense?). Isn’t this the simplest definition of friendship?Don’t we all yearn for the company of people in whom you can confide your deepest worries and darkest insecurities?
That apart, it also set me thinking…what is most important for friendship to last? Me thinks, time and effort.U gotta be ready to spare time for your friend and if there is some effort involved in doing this, then so be it. I agree, it is not be possible for everyone to do this at all times, but if you can do neither of this consistently, then buzz off!!you are not eligible to be called a good friend. Do I hear arguments saying “all this funda of sharing words and measuring thoughts (or is it the other way round??whatever!!) is fine if u’re close friends, else who’d want to do it in the first place??!!”.The extent to which u need not weigh your thoughts and not measure your words, depends on the extent to which your friendship has grown. Ahh!! Now, what’s that all about?
I’d say, growth is the key to the success of a friendship. It begins as a casual acquaintance, then you get talking, discover areas of common interest, go into lengthy discussions…this book is great na?Yeah, even I think Amisha is a terrible actress…have u heard the latest album of Jagjit Singh?? And of course,the not-so-common interests and differences of opinion : How can u even think that Preity is better than Rani? You actually liked that movie?? How dare u criticize Rahul Dravid?? so on and so forth…slowly the comfort-level increases and more importantly, so does the trust.
Also what u need to be on the constant look out for, are the windows of opportunity to learn…Friendship serves its true purpose when these windows serve as openings into a whole new world; the world won’t be any newer than what it was a moment ago, but your perspective will be.You look at things in a new light, gain insight of a different kind, it might be wrong or right,that’s where the debates and discussions come in, but the gain is where u can look at a situation from another’s shoes. Isn’t that what we lack always? The ability to think from another’s perspective?
Finally, I think friendship is all about keeping the insecurities at bay. As humans, we are insecure about everything. Am I working hard enough on my grades? Will I get a good job? Is my boss happy with my work?Will I get the promotion? Is this guy right for me? Am I saving enough for my future? The list is endless…the least we can do is help our friends overcome some of these… all a person needs is the reassurance that no matter what, there is always someone out there, who’ll stand by them through trials and tribulations, there will be a helping hand to hold, a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on…someone to infuse confidence in u, help u face the world…lift ur spirits in times of sorrow and share ur moments of joy and glory…a friend is all this and more…